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By Lorna O’Neill Today we speak to two young Irish women – one who says she was raped on an online date – and another forced to kiss a man.As we delve in to the popular, yet murky and sometimes disturbing world of online dating, the horrors behind meeting with strangers seems evident.“Before I knew it we were having sex and I was regretting it. “I explained I was sorry but I had just been in a break-up and I was vulnerable and drunk.” The next occurrence shocked Ciara. “I hadn’t and I was far from happy after what he had done to me but I thought in some stupid way if I made him feel it was okay, he wouldn’t bother me again.She realised she had lost control and now she was terrified. I was afraid of him finding me, seeing me again on the street.During my first month in Ireland however, I only heard the term used to refer to some form of intense kissing.Posing as a hard-up student on the look out for extra money, all I had to do was upload a picture, my vital statistics, and how much cash I was looking for in return for my company. Bring costumes.” In amongst all these was 39-year-old divorced Dave* the Co Down vet - AKA the world’s worst sugar daddy - who listed himself as being worth a cool £1.25 million. “This will work because you’re getting what you want, I’m getting what I want and everyone’s happy.always stall as long as possible to see if the other will pay.You don’t want the woman to get offended, but you don’t want the guy to think you’re looking for a free ride or dismissing his attempts to treat you–so best to just play chicken.
Here are some super-serious tips to getting it RIGHT on this day of days.Earlier this month the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre CEO Ellen O’Malley Dunlop warned that dating app Tinder should be avoided because she believed it can attract sexual predators.Two young women have spoken to us about their harrowing experiences of online dating in a bid to raise awareness among young Irish women. As I got nearer, I realised he looked nothing like his profile photo.We are protecting their identities and privacy so that they can tell their story freely. “My friends had met guys that night and I was all on my own – heartbroken. He was like my ex but better looking, so I thought, why not have some fun. I didn’t tell my friends where I was going because I know they would have disapproved and anyhow, they were too busy with their new men. “I felt uneasy and disappointed.” Ciara said the reason she didn’t leave when she saw the man looked older and less in shape than he had appeared in his profile, was because the streets were “deserted” and the “cab had left.” “I felt the best option was just to go with it. I thought I’ll go home soon when I’ve spent some time with the guy.” When she got inside the house, a poor looking terrace, the man told her stories of how lost he had been. “I walked off up to a pub that was closed a few minutes away, to get away from that man, his house, to meet the cab at the pub.” Ciara sat on the step outside the pub cowering in fear from the threat that the man could follow her and hurt her again. She didn’t tell her friends or family but she has bravely opened up to Ireland Today, in the hope of preventing others from making the same mistake.Ciara, 25, from Kildare, said she had just been in a break-up and decided she would try online dating to get over her ex. So I text this guy I’d been messaging on the dating site all week. “He asked me round to his – and I can’t believe I did this – but I felt like c**p. He had recently lost his mother, and he had been single for years, unable to meet a “nice girl.” “We had some drink and that was the last thing I needed. They shouldn’t have but I felt sorry for him and I felt so down about my ex – I feared he had met someone else – that I just let him kiss me. After what seemed like “forever,” but in what, was reality, around 10 minutes, the cab arrived. “It’s really weird because the first couple of times I answered him and just said I was busy and I had met someone and was happy.
Within about an hour of meeting one particularly kind Irishman however, I learned that shifting is a decidedly Irish slang term.